protecting your family during a divorce

Many people hold erroneous beliefs about divorce, and these beliefs can cost them dearly during a divorce. Below are examples of these erroneous divorce assumptions.

You Should Prepare To Win

Divorce, even a litigated one, is not a court case that you should expect to "win". You can win a personal injury case or a criminal case, but not a divorce case. This is mainly because there is generally no "winner takes it all" end to a divorce, and you may not always get what you want.

For example, few people get sole custody, receive permanent alimony, and get to select the properties they wish to keep. You are only setting yourself up for failure and wastage of resources if you go into your divorce with that attitude.

Going to Court Is Best

Although legal redress is available for everyone, it should be your last option. Court processes take time, cost money, and don't always deliver what you want. Even your divorce lawyer's fees will go up if they have to try your divorce in court. For most people, the best thing is to negotiate an out-of-court settlement and take the agreement to the court for ratification.

You Need To Retaliate

Divorce is an emotional process, so it's understandable that many people feel angry and hurt. You may feel the need to retaliate, particularly if your partner initiates the divorce or does something that triggers the divorce. However, retaliation is likely to hurt both of you.

Consider a case where you go on a spending spree with your joint account funds because your partner cheated on you. The court will treat your actions as dissipation of assets during property division. Thus, the judge will reduce your share of marital property proportionally to the assets you dissipated during your spending spree.

The Mother Automatically Gets the Kids

Although many mothers end up with physical custody of kids, this is not a given, and some fathers do end up with physical custody of their children. It is the circumstances, and not gender, that gives custody to many mothers.

For example, in many homes, it is the mothers who act as primary caregivers to their children. If you are a father who approaches your divorce expecting the mother to get full custody, you might end up with a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Alimony Is A Given

Lastly, some people also think that courts must award alimony, and that is it only the amounts that differ. In reality, some people do walk away from their marriages without alimony. You might not get alimony if you can meet your needs and maintain your standard of living without financial support from your former partner.